HAHAHAHAHA

COOL SHIT MAN
FML which means f my life hahaha and some of those poor people are seriously sad :( the comments are hilarious though!

Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML

HAHAHAHAHAHA why do guys have erections randomly :O

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whispered "ooh this is so romantic." He blurted out shocked, "Oh...you're awake?!" FML

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

LOL x5687879645848748545